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Opinion: Feminism, Abortion, and being Sex Positive

tandonsagar:

Being a male and feminist. I feel this blog is enlightening and empowering to men and women both, it gives the deep understanding of the issue of feminism with pornography and abortion(where pornography and abortion can’t be compared)

Originally posted on The Things She Thinks :

There seems to be a lot of talk lately about feminism. It’s bad, it’s good, it’s sexist, it’s *insert misunderstood, wrong interpretations here*

I don’t know about you, but I feel there is an awakening on the horizon within the female human community around the world.

Not only are more and more women speaking out on a global scale of the everyday sexism and abuse they endure, they are actually having more frequent conversations about positively uplifting themselves, and their communities (not just other women). Women, and men, are taking ACTION.

This is very promising to me. I am tired of all the competition and comparisons. All the hate, disgust, contempt, abuse, and sexism that not only men inflict upon women, but women inflict upon women. It has to change and even stop at some point and to me, it starts with myself and other fellow females to not allow…

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a conversation about men (don’t get it twisted)

tandonsagar:

title says everything “a conversation about men” . This girl deserves to give a TED or TEDx talk

Originally posted on The Things She Thinks :

First let me clear the air: I do NOT hate men.

Sure, as many female feminists feel, I have my days where I wouldn’t mind gathering the male population and collectively slap all of them across the face. Sure, I might want to kick a man in the balls from time to time ;) but that should not suggest a hatred of men.

Neither should my fight against patriarchy, and here’s why. This lovely analogy sums it up nicely:

mariokart

Let’s face it. Men don’t realize their privilege. And when you point it out or try to even the score (hence, take away their privilege) they often times become angry or pull out the same stops almost the whole male gender packs in their arsenal: Quit your bitching! You’re a fucking feminist, aren’t you? *makes disgusted face*, shouldn’t you be making a sandwich?, Why don’t you shut up and suck my…

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He.

tandonsagar:

this is an amazing story of a UNIQUE and WORTHY woman who deserve respect, but has suffered from a 7 years of beautiful but detrimental abusive relationship. Beautiful in the sense that both loved each other, but slowly slowly it took a wrong turn and destroys her innocence and kindness. It seriously killed her from inside, she wants to move ahead.
I love this girl so much. Every word is so deep and contains pain that she want true love and be strong.
I hope everyone will like this one. I thought she is ,my mirror but she is too intellectual and beautiful than me.

Originally posted on The Things She Thinks :

It wasn’t physical abuse that shattered me. It was all verbal and emotional. There were times that I wished it had been physical because having experiences with both types of abuse, it is my belief that verbal, emotional/mental abuse is much more scarring. I’d rather be hit than torn down by words. How pathetic is that?

I don’t know if that makes me demented, but it is what it is.

We started out loving and carefree; innocent. We enjoyed many activities together and were happy to be with each other. It took me awhile to let my guard down because of a previous experience that left me with trust issues pertaining to men. Eventually, however, he became not only my partner but my best friend.

We shared interests such as watching documentaries, sci-fi films, eating foreign food, playing video games, and being good people. These are the qualities that made…

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#11 Online Harassment

This is first post in the series of #stopsexism Initiative. Anita Sarkeesian, gave a TEDx talk in TEDxWomen 2012 curated and produced by Paley Center for Media. In this TEDx talk Anita talked about a real story that she faced in her life for being a feminist, a woman and because through feminist frequency-which deconstruct miss-representation of women in media. Feminist frequency talks about sexism, gender issues in TV shows, comic books and video games.

As video games are increasing at an alarming rate but this video game industry present sexual objectified, demeaning, misogynist portrayal of women. So, Anita took initiative and launched a fund raising campaign on kickstarter to make videos about how video games sexually objectify women and misogynist. But Gamers are not at all excited with this, which leads to online bullying, online harassment against this project and Anita faced sexist backlash.

Anita suffered from massive online hate campaign, all her social media flooded with rape threats or vulgar messages. Messages like “Tits or get fuck out”, “Wouldn’t it be funny if five guys raped her”, “I would totally rape Anita Sarkeesian” and there are so many which saddened me, even i don’t have the courage to write all these. It’s not a joke, it’s not just a backlash it is angry misogyny. Her Wikipedia article was vandalized with sexism, racism and pornographic images. A comapign was started by Anita’s haters to prove Anita as fraud and report her social media profiles. So, these haters had also leaked personal information about Anita-her phone number, address, etc. Even, hack down her email, knock down her website and this list goes on and on. These haters have not stoped, they made a misogynist game, in which you need to punch a face and that face was Anita’s.

We generally don’t think online harassment as social activity. But this online harassment against Anita,  is not a game but angry misogyny. It’s not boys being boys, it’s not just how internet works. It’s not a game. This can be described as cyber-mob, whether this is a cyber mob or handful of hateful comments. This leads to sexism and supporting gender biases where women are silenced, marginalized and exclude from full participation. How to keep women away?- By creating an environment which is toxic and hostile to women.

Let’s engage women and men and ask women not to be silent. We can create a cultural shift, where women without fear of threats and harassment can  be active participants in digital world.

I would highly recommend you to watch this TEDx talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZAxwsg9J9Q

To know more about feminist frequency: http://www.feministfrequency.com/

Stay tuned for more blog posts related to #stopsexism Initiative. Thanks for reading!

#10 Don’t Just follow your passion!

This is the first post in the series of my #passion project. Today, I want to review a TEDx talk by Eunice Hii, one of the best TEDx talks i have ever listened. I personally tweeted to Eunice Hii and amazingly she replied and tweeted back also. That’s why I feel more connected to this TEDx talk. More than that we have many things in common, she is passionate, finding her passion, started passion project in canada in her college, we both feel confused when somebody comes and ask us what you gonna do after your graduation, we feel annoyed because we still don’t have any idea.

So, lets figure out why I love her talk. Different people different aspects of passion. One entrepreneur said: you should do what caters your strength. If you get it, just go do it so, still confused what to do :o . Another artist said move to new york if you want to be successful. But some writer said don’t move to new york, if you want to be happy. Really ridiculous, what to do?

Let’s see what Steve Jobs said “Don’t settle anything, less than work that you love.” so in a way, Do what you love but follow your passion also. Graduates are basically confused whether to follow passion:but it leads to uncertainty and unfamiliarity and on another side, let’s take a job, find some financial security, may be follow passion later in life.

Then she talked about our generation- Gen Y- People regard our generation as lazy, pampered, hardest generation to handle in workforce and more than that NY post stated “Worst generation ever”, we are really busy on Fb to get noticed. But she argues “We can become a better generation and follow our passion.”

But how to follow our passion

  1. We can follow our passion, not necessarily in our work. Wherever we are, whatever we are doing, we can find time to do what we love. You know what i mean “Go and do some voluntary work”. Recently, if you follow LinkedIn, you have noticed they are promoting to add volunteer work in your profile and resume.
  2. We can follow our passion, even if we don’t know what it’s yet. But you will question, how to do a thing, when you don’t know the thing, then go and f**k explore yourself, find meaning to your life.
  3. We should remember passion is the privilege. So, follow your passion by showing gratitude, and giving back to people who are unprivileged.
  4. We can follow our passion without leaving our responsibilities.

There are so many ways through which you can reach out to communities, connect to like minded people without actually meeting them personally. For e.g. through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Quora, Twoo, etcetera.

It doesn’t mean anything to follow your passion. If it is nor in service of others. So, find your passion, but sided by side understand what are the community needs.  Find a passion to serve the community, because there lies the true potential and equilibrium of supply(passion) and demand(community needs). You will get what I am talking about, if you have idea of supply-demand :D .

At the end, her words touched my heart and soul. She said “When I am preparing this talk, I felt little skeptical & loosing lot of confidence in what I was saying because when I look to people who write amazing career  advice, they are really successful people in the world, and whom am I giving this advice to you,when I haven’t even made a dent in what I am suppose to do, when I am graduate.” So, true when I initiated my initiatives, started my blog, stood on stage and give talk on passion- who i am? still unsuccessful? still unemployed in front of others, but still somebody there in the world who believes and gives you strength #mirror.

Who you are not to be, who you are not to chose purposeful and passionate life. Yes you can!

Those people who still ask me about my future “I still have no idea, but I do know I will be passionate about it. “

For more watch her TEDx talk and I highly recommend you to do so : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgbzbdxTm4E

This is one is also dedicated to the mirror which show you there is more in you. I want to thank my dad also.

 

 

#9 Try something new for 30 days

This one is dedicated to all people those who feel, I always try to write too long. This will blow your mind. I don’t have much to write so I will continue writing some absurd phrases, which proves my integrity that i really can never write in few words. Matt Cutts in her 3 minute TED talk, not that much as you can figure out it is just of 3 minutes. But still a 3 minute talk can bang your hand, flush your thoughts, nah nah don’t worry these things won’t happen.

So, without reading the first paragraph you can directly start reading from second one. This can’t happen now because I know you have read, you are such a loyal reader. Thanks :D

When you made small, sustainable changes things that you could keep doing they are more likely to stick, there is no problem with big changes but they are less likely to stick. This means a small change can agglomerate to bring changes, because we can easily stick to small things, and it gives us time to evolve and retrospect.  So, it’s a more mature approach.

If you always want to write a novel, research paper, editorial, develop a game, start a movement, say thanks to me, anything, why not do something you always wanted to try and give it a shot for next 30 days. You can become an amateur editor, novelist, scientist, game design, my lover, anything just in 30 days if you really want something badly, so that next time you can mention these attributes apart from what you really are. Don’t sleep until you write at least as many articles to prove yourself an editor, 5o,ooo word novel, be a nerd to be called a scientist, design a game like mario at least, u need to be my mirror to love me :D. You might be sleep deprived but you achieve your goal, it is not necessary how perfectly you have finished your work.

My 30 day challenge (it’s not Matt Cutts)

  1. Understand mirror
  2. Watch more TED/x talks on feminism, social innovation and management
  3. Be an animal lover
  4. Structure my initiatives
  5. Read at least 3 books

Give it a shot for next 30 days.

Thanks for reading! Thanks #mirror I never thought of writing like this, you motivated me.

For more watch the whole 3 minutes 28 seconds video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnfBXjWm7hc

 

 

 

 

 

#8 Dreams for the lives of others

Today I want to talk about a lady named Shaheen Mistri, CEO Teach for India. Shaheen went to ten different schools in 5 countries. She has worked with visually impaired, hearing impaired, autistic, handicapped and orphan kids. By doing this she understood she love being around kids and want to dissolve wide gap between slum kids and privileged kids. More than Shaheen is a Ashoka Fellow as well as TED India Fellow.

Everything existed in our country, we just we need to create a platform to bring these things together. So resources are everywhere. And in Teach for India, they have two biggest resource-kids and talented youth. Basic thing we need to change is ideology and mindset.  Basically in Teach for India, they are trying to find the right model to reach all kids, and to do this they are creating a movement of leaders who will eliminate inequity in education.

Every single child is so important, so precious yet we live in a world with so inequity. And to solve this we need to provide basic education to every kid of this country, without any distinction between a privileged kid and a poor kid. We can’t just generalize and try to make sense of this massive problem. We need to look at individual child stories and then try to mean out, and make insights and inferences. More than 1 million schools are far from providing quality education. More than 8 million teachers trapped in rote learning. We have moral obligation that every single kid has equal chance.

How to give kids a better education?

  1. excite children about learning
  2. treating every child special
  3. help them to find their potential
  4. make them learn to respect things around them
  5. love all people
  6. developing their own style

But the biggest problem that Teach for India Fellows face is that they have limited budgets and resources. The two basic purposes which Teach for India fellowship is trying to accomplish are

  1. incredible impact in classrooms
  2. change themselves in the process.

As I have been studying about how to make education accessible, I do thing so Teach For India, is definitely making an impact by creating a positive change, by creating set of leaders in education, academics, politics, etc which can empathize with this issue. This is not a movement about education but creating leaders. Because a leader can change various lives. Let’s get associate ourselves with such an awesome organisations and with such awesome people like Shaheen.

Thank you Shaheen for your talk at TEDxASB

For more you can watch the whole video at : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I63GdZGTTB8

#7 How to define yourself?

It’s been a long time with my post. I am sorry for posting so late. Today, was not either a good day for me. Somebody made me realize that “we all need one person in our life to only listen“. We all feel crippled at some moment of our life, and today is the day when I felt someone terrible, when somebody needs you, don’t judge them, don’t ask them, don’t motivate them, don’t offer help and most important don’t generate opinions, because sometimes that person just want to express. Somebody made me learned that lesson and I am so proud that she is their to listen but i ruthlessly crushed her thoughts, by not listening to her :( . If you are anywhere in the world reading this post, please remember I am there to listen you, I can’t say more than this.

I am really sorry above paragraph is not related to this TEDxAustinWomen talk by Lizzie Velasquez most beautiful person on this planet, I am literally saying most beautiful woman on earth. She is born with very-2 rare syndrome, that only two other people including herself that have, basically this syndrome cause Lizzie can’t gain weight. And by making fun of herself, there are benefits not to gain weight, to be visually impaired, and being really small. So, by drawing this analogy she is trying to convey, it’s up to us how we take life, we can cry about, or take it positively and move ahead, she urges people to chose the latter one.

When she was born, doctor suspected she won’t be able to talk, crawl and think or do anything by herself. Difficult life- That’s okay! Things have been wrong, tough. You may have this syndrome or another syndrome, but that won’t going to define who you are?

What defines you? How are you? Is it where you came from, background, friends? as a person. Initially, she hated her body, she thought she is ugly. But because of her amazing support system- never felt pity about her. These things/syndrome won’t define her. Life is in our hands, how we define us. We decide which path we want to chose.

She even won’t broke when people call her “world’s ugliest women” and that has 4 million views on social networking website. People even commented that she is an ugly monster, she should shoot herself. But she lives with a belief that Our life is in our hands- chose to make it good or bad. Chose to be happier or chose to be upset.

At the end she said ” Use other negative comments to climb up the ladder of success and happiness. Use others negativity to light your fire keep going”

Lizzie even people criticized her so much she has written three books and is a renowned motivational speaker.

For more watch her whole TEDx video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c62Aqdlzvqk

In the end I again apologize to that lady. I let you define yourself, I won’t judge. You really matters to me, you even can’t think off!

 

 

 

#6 TED/x talks on Productivity, Creativity and Innovation

First of all happy new year to all!

As asked by many people, which TED/x talks I would highly recommend. These are few I would like you to watch, I will soon review them all, and try to make meaning out of it on my blog.

Here is the list (my personal favorite)

1. What motivates a person the most (in non-factory-type work) is how much autonomy, mastery, and purpose they have, not how much money they make. Dan Pink in his TED talk discovers “The Puzzle of motivation”, Have a look at it : http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html

2. “Gaming can make a better world”, a talk by Jane McGonigal, twin sister of Kelly McGonigal, who has also given a TED talk on how to use stress as your friend? I saw Kelly’s talk first so I was in the presumption while seeing Jane, one day she was talking on stress as a psychologist, today she is a gamer…..this let me search about Jane, and i found they are twins, so moving ahead a great video, how gamers can actually change the world. Gamers are problem solvers, they are highly optimistic, make social bonds easily, have blissful productivity and make meaning while playing games. So, gamers are super empowered hopeful individuals. Gamers are human resource that we can use to solve real world problems like poverty, healthcare, etcetera. Let’s be a gamer and unleash our potential as a problem solver! here is the link : https://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.html

3. In another TED talk, Jane talks about “The game that can give you 10 extra years of life”. Playing video games can actually make you more physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially resilient. So, actually transforms your life and increases your productivity and creative skills. here is the link : http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_the_game_that_can_give_you_10_extra_years_of_life.html

4. Shawn Achor, in his TED talk on “The happy secret to better work”, talks about how we can increase our productivity by being happy, as he stresses on the fact that “success can’t make you happy, but by being happy you can be successful”. We assume our external world is predictive world is predictive of our happiness levels, when in reality if we know everything about external world, we can predict only 10% of our happiness while 90% is predicted by how your brain processes. here is the link : https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html

5. My favorite TEDx talk by Eunice Hii, a recent graduate of the UBC Sauder School of Business on “Don’t just follow your passion: A Talk for Generation Y”. In her TEDx talk, Eunice critically analyze passion and associated myths surrounding it. She touched my heart when in the last she said “I still have no idea, what I gonna do after my graduation, but I do know I will be passionate about it”. And most importantly what I figure out was that it’s not just about following passion but also meeting community needs, so overlap of community needs and your passion, lies your true potential. Let’s be passionate and change the world! here is the link and I want you to watch this TEDx talk : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgbzbdxTm4E

6. Famous designer Tim Brown gave a TED talk on “Designers — think big!”. Recently I have done a course on “Design thinking for business Innovation” on coursera platform, so I can relate this TED talk very well, in this he talks about how design thinking and integrative thinking can actually solve some big global social problems like sanitation, water, healthcare, etcetera. Design thinking not only integrates technology and economics, but it starts with what humans need or might need in the near future. Design thinking encourage us to take a divergent approach rather than a conventional convergent approach, to explore new alternatives, solutions, new ideas that have not existed before. for more about design thinking do watch his TED talk : http://www.ted.com/talks/tim_brown_urges_designers_to_think_big.html

7. If you have watched “Now you see me” movie then you will love this TED talk by Apollo Robbins on “The art of misdirection”. You can’t recall memories while processing new data, you can only process so much information at once, and your attention is easily manipulated (like by magicians). here is the link : https://www.ted.com/talks/apollo_robbins_the_art_of_misdirection.html

8. Recently i reviewed a TED talk by Steven Johnson on “Where good ideas come from?” “Innovative thinking is often a slow and gradual process, not a moment of instant, lightbulb-like inspiration.” have a look at this : http://exploringted.wordpress.com/2013/12/30/5-where-good-ideas-come-from/

for more watch this TED talk : http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_johnson_where_good_ideas_come_from.html

9. Rory Sutherland, in his TED talk on “Sweat the small stuff” talks about “If you want people to remember you and to appreciate what you do, the most things are very very small so look at small things”. Soon, I am going to review this TED talk. Looking out small things, don’t need large marketing or research budgets, highly complex strategies to solve problems, you just need right approach in analyzing those small things, by detailing out.

10. Rache Botsman, in her beautiful TED talk on “The currency of the new economy is trust”. I will call this idea, a radical idea, not everyone can accept this or swallow this TED talk. She took examples of some start-ups like connect.me, task rabbit, legit, airbnb, trust cloud and stack overflow which focuses on reputation as the new currency in this knowledge economy. We are at a start of collaborative revolution, let’s see what is hidden for our future. I recommend you to watch this TED talk : http://www.ted.com/talks/rachel_botsman_the_currency_of_the_new_economy_is_trust.html

For more, stay tuned! I will soon post more about TED/x talks.

#5 Where good ideas come from?

“Innovative thinking is often a slow and gradual process, not a moment of instant, lightbulb-like inspiration.”

Steven Johnson, in his September 2010 TED talk talks about from where good ideas come from, on what factors innovation depends? He tries to answer basically three questions, which are

  1. What are the environments which lead to unusual levels of innovation and creativity?
  2. What is the space of creativity?
  3. How we can make our own environment innovative and creative?

Coffee houses are spaces where people would get together from different backgrounds, from different field of expertise, i.e. a place where ideas could have sex.

Before going any further, let’s inquire what is an idea? Idea is not a simple thing; rather idea is a network on most elemental level. An idea is new set of neurons, firing in sync with each other inside your brain. We take ideas from other people, we have learned from, from people we run into the coffee shop and we stick together in new forms and we create something new.

Innovations happen in chaotic environment, where ideas were likely to come together where people have likely to have new, interesting and unpredictable collisions, which can happen when people from different background interact with each other, because only then insights can take shape of an idea or ideas. Generally, we call this type of network as liquid network (lots of different ideas and insights come together from people of different background and interests), and this type of environment leads to innovation.

Lots of great ideas linger on sometimes for decades, in the back of people’s mind. They have a feeling that it’s an interesting problem but they don’t have tools yet to discover them. This is what we call a slow hunch.  Great ideas fade into view over long periods of time. You have half of the idea and someone has other half, connect them and you get a solution to a problem, so this connecting idea leads to co-creation.

At the end, I will leave you with connecting ideas vs. protecting it. What you think about intellectual rights? How we can conserve our intellectual rights, in a new world of open source-software as well as hardware? And most importantly would you like to solve problems or try to prove your intellectual property, we need to decide and choose first option i.e. solve problems because we are living in knowledge economy.

for more do watch Steven Johnson TED talk : http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_johnson_where_good_ideas_come_from.html

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